I wrote my first blog 90 minutes into my 23rd birthday on my second night in Sligo. I’d just finished up memorable 10 days in Belfast where I’d made 33 new friends, had my first opportunity to work in an Irish school, and learned the ins and outs of what it meant to be a Victory Scholar. I remember feeling energised by all the new experiences and weirdly immune to homesickness. Here, I sit 9 months later, wondering where the time has gone as I prepare to finally head home. Things are different. I’m not ready to crown this as the best year of my life (yet), but it sure as hell has been the most rewarding. I’ve been challenged more in Ireland than I ever was back home, impressive considering I played 4 years under Landry Kosmalski. For the better part of a year my life has been turbulent, filled with continuous new experiences. I grew up more this year than I ever imagined and am grateful for each peak and valley that contributed to that process.
I thought I was prepared to move to Ireland. I wasn’t. I hugely underestimated how hard it would be. Here are two major roadblocks that knocked me back but ultimately made me a better person.
The first was basketball. Before Ireland I played for a college program obsessed with the details where I was a small piece to a larger vision and culture. At Swarthmore my teammates and I were expected to put our team before all else including academic commitments, holiday time with family, and individual egos. Those sacrifices allowed us to bond in ways I’d never experienced before college, and probably will never experience again. Last summer I worked on my game every day in the hot Swarthmore gym, just as I had in the years before. I arrived at my first Sligo All-Stars practice ready to compete and expected my teammates and coaches to match that intensity. Boy was I wrong. Basketball here is so different than anything I was used to. I was sharing the court with high schoolers that were 17 and fathers in their 30’s who played the game more for fun. They’d miss practice or games if they had a tough week of assignments or practice for another sport. My first few weeks on the team were frustrating. I wasn’t used to losing. I struggled to adjust to the European style of play. The range of talent in the league was enormous. I was shocked that some of the referees didn’t even know the rules but managed to gave American’s a less favorable whistle.
After the first week of practice I was voted captain by my new teammates, an honor that humbled me. Early on I did a poor job filling that new role. My game sucked, and my leadership was even worse. For some reason I expected to move a foreign culture and play in a league with different rules thinking basketball would be the exact same as it was in the United States. When I realized that I was the problem, not Irish basketball, I worked to change my mindset each day going forward. In games instead of fuming at referees, I’d banter with them after a questionable call. In practice I acted as a teacher first and a competitor second. Most of all I learned to care a bit less about the result and more about having fun, interacting with the crowd, and being like my Irish teammates. Our team that started 3-5 went on to win 10 in a row, something I’d never done in my whole career. There was a point where we were the hottest team in the whole country and our tiny home gym was packed to the brim with rowdy Sligo fans. The new mindset helped me I play more like myself. The club ended up missing promotion by a few games but celebrated one of the winningest seasons in recent memory. I was one of five players voted First Team All Ireland at the end of it all, but more importantly helped lay a foundation that will hopefully lead to further success in coming years. I’ve grown to love, appreciate, and admire Irish basketball.
When I chose Swarthmore I wanted a challenge and got every bit of what I signed up for. During tough times I always had friends to lean on that were going through something similar. We lived together, put in late nights at the library together, lost championships together, failed tests together, woke up for early morning lifts together, etc. If I needed more support, my parents were 30 minutes down the road. I had a safety net and I used it often. I’d left all of that to move to a tiny town in Northwest Ireland which was a 3 hour drive from any major city, had more sheep than people, and more pubs than Americans. The second thing I underestimated was how difficult it was to live alone.
It was Sport Changes Life’s first year in Sligo, so we were the first scholars playing at Sligo. I met my only roommate hours before I boarded my flight. People spoke English but it was so hard to understand it might as well have been a different language. The time difference made it difficult to watch my favorite sports teams and keep in touch my friends. By the time they’d get home from work I was asleep. I’d been in a relationship for years that didn’t survive the move. My college classes were taught and graded differently. The sun wouldn’t rise until 9 and it would get dark at 4. It rained every day and seeing sun was a rare treat. I missed holidays, birthday parties, reunions, you name it. It was the most challenging time in my life and I had no safety net. My only choice was to grow up and figure things out on my own.
Slowly things began to turn around. My family visited for Christmas, I got to see some college buddies on vacation, I picked up some new hobbies that kept me busy, and most of all I made some friends in Sligo. Best friends. Guys that I lived with, studied with, lost championships with, rode long away bus rides with, and who I plan to know for the rest of my life. The past few months have been incredible. Granted the weather is nice, the days are long, and school is winding down, but I have very mixed feelings about leaving Sligo. This little town and the wonderful people here will always have a spot in my heart. It’s my home away from home.
Ireland is a special place. I’ve learned so much here. The speed here is slower and the culture is more laid back. There is no rush to get to the next thing or worry that things won’t work out. The Irish always live in the present. They value family and friends higher than anything else. Countless times I had complete strangers put down whatever they were doing just to lend a hand, or make me feel welcome. I’ve never experienced friendliness like I have here. It’s contagious. Americans could use a little more love and kindness. Lately it seems we spend more time breaking people down than building them up. I like to think I’ll bring some of the Irish culture home with me.
To the people I met in Sligo, thank you for helping a random Yank find his way. You’ve changed my life. I’ll be back to visit whenever I can.
Until then… Sláinte!
