If you asked anyone from my home town or my college I am sure they would all tell you that I was someone who was always positive and brought joy into any situation. This is something about myself that I am very proud of. Since I have been aboard I have been struggling to find the positive side of situations. I am so thankful for being here and I love and appreciate everyone who is helping me out, but my homesickness has kind of taken over. I have been battling my inner thoughts and trying my hardest to cover up my true feelings because I know what I am here for is bigger then anything I have ever done! And I know when I finally do go home that I will regret not taking complete advantage of this experience. So everyday I wake up I remind myself of that!
I went to college about 6 hours away from home and I never really got to just go visit! So when I first thought about being abroad for a year I never thought it would effect me this way! But I guess its the idea that I know if I wanted to or an emergency came up it is not as easy as a 6 hour drive to get home. I miss my family and I feel l like I am missing so much of everyones life. Thoughts like this is what leads me to being to myself at times and not really being positive about my situation. Then once I see how out of character I am acting I get even more upset. So it just turns into a whole downwards spiral.
So with all that being said I know I need to change somethings. I have about 4 more months in Ireland and it’s time to start being the me that I love and that the people who love me the most know! I want the people in my community to talk highly of my when I leave. I know they do not think I am rude or anything of that sorts but they can tell sometimes how homesick I am. And that upsets me because I am having an amazing time and I am so appreciative of everything they have done for me! Especially Christine Greene and Mike Toolan! They have both been trying their hardest to make me feel more at home and it has helped me so much through out this time.
I am so grateful for being able to be apart of something so special, and I really want to show these kids in my community what it is like to look at life in a positive manner! Yet I can not teach them that until I begin to live that way myself. I am Marisa Howard the fun loving girl from Ohio who can turn any situation into a good one and I can not wait to live a happier life and radiate positivity through out Athlone!
