I have been asked several times over the past few weeks what it means to be selected as a Victory Scholar, and the more I think about it, the harder it is to really put how much it means to me into words. Most people when they graduate either go straight to work (coaching for me hopefully), go for another degree, or continue playing if you are that fortunate. Now to think that I am able to do all of these things, along with helping make a difference in the lives of young people is too good to be true. Being involved with programs such as EHOOPS and those similar is a dream come true. Being able to connect with these extraordinary people through sport is one of the greatest feelings ever. Seeing their faces light up when you interact with them is an extremely gratifying experience, and to think you are making a difference in their lives is impossible to put into words.

Grateful doesn’t even express the immensity of my thankfulness for this opportunity, and I can’t wait to use this opportunity to not only grow as a person, but also help others grow and be the best versions of themselves that they can be. This truly is the experience of a lifetime, and I look forward to making the most of it each and every day!

We (Mike and I) have officially made it to the town where we’ll be staying for the next 9 months. Carlow is a small town but its very welcoming and homey. The view from my apartment is absolutely breath taking and for added luxury I have access to a nice size balcony directly from my bedroom. The thing I love most about Carlow is that everything you need is within walking distance. There’s a long avenue

I don’t start classes for another week so I spent my first week just exploring the town and getting acclimated to things. So far it doesn’t even feel like I live in Ireland. I guess I expected things to be so different from America but really its not. My whole week in Belfast everyone I mentioned Carlow to said the same thing. Everyone said either something about there not being much in Carlow or about how it’s a very small town. In reality, it reminds me a lot of my hometown Union, New Jersey. Although Union is a lot bigger, our shopping center and downtown area is very similar to Carlow’s.

I got a chance to meet a couple of my teammates and my coach “Kojack”. All my teammates are really sweet and they have been especially helpful with where to go grocery shopping, the best eyebrow threading spots, and all the coolest pubs. Kojack is a really good guy. Our team motto is “Family, I got your back.” which is not something that I can say I’ve had a lot of with my past teams. So I’m really looking forward to a more family oriented team environment.

So I’ve officially began the life. I started classes on Monday and to my very big surprise I have class from 9am to 5pm! That was a huge adjustment. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I was kind of confused by the schedule so I was totally unprepared when I went to class this Monday. I did not expect to be in class back to back, all day long, with no lunch breaks. I almost passed out in there! Apparently, everyone just brings their lunch to class and eats when they can. Now I know.

We also had our first college practice Monday night. I must admit it was a lot different than what I’m used to. In comparison, it was laxer and more skill based but just as tiring at times. There are twice as many lines on the floor and all different colors so that took a while to get used to. We practiced again on Wednesday with the national league team. There’s a big percentage of girls who play on both teams so it works out pretty well as far as team chemistry goes.

Mike and I attempted to go out on the weekend but apparently nobody goes out on the weekends here. (Which is going to be a huge adjustment.) Carlow has specific “student nights” on Monday and Wednesday and that’s when basically the entire county hits the town. There are a lot of pubs and bars in town that are nice hangouts. The go to place is a nightclub called “The Foundry”. It’s extremely similar to the clubs back home music and venue wise so naturally that’s our favorite place to go out. After one night of going out I met so many nice people. It’s so crazy how genuine Irish people are. I’m loving it!

We had our first tournament at Carlow this past weekend. My team did really, really well. We ended up winning all of our games and the tournament and I was named Most Valuable Player. But, the best part of the weekend was that a bunch of scholars came to play in the tournament and Uncle G and Deirdre came down as well. It was just a breath of fresh air to be able to hang with them all again. I even got to play against two scholars, Randy and Nyasha, who play for University of Ulster. It was definitely taxing playing 3 games in one day and 5 games in one weekend. I haven't played that many games in 2 days since high school. So yea, my body was not happy with me by the end of the tournament.

This is the first tournament that I've played without having my friends/family present so that was kind of hard for me. It just made me think about how much I miss everyone. It's so hard to keep in touch with the 5 hour time difference. I'm always half way though my day before anyone back home even wakes up. Then, when everyone is wide awake and ready to talk I'm in the bed looking to go to sleep. Thankfully, I have Kojack to keep all my Facebook family updated on my every move and accomplishment every hour of every day.

I'd say the worst thing about playing so many games is that I have to wash my own uniform now. Unfortunately, we don't have a dryer so we have to hang everything overnight. We only have one drying rack so it usually comes down to who can run into the kitchen the fastest with their laundry… and I always lose that race. I think I'm going to start waking up early just so I can beat Mike to it. Haha.

This week was eventful, to say the least. First, I'm happy to say that school has gotten a lot easier to manage. This is the first week where I felt like I understood the material and things just went by a lot smoother in general. I also started coaching this week which has been pretty cool. I'm head coaching the lady's "Freshers" team at college, which is basically a level below the varsity team in which I play for. There's about twelve girls on the team and they are from all different countries (Spain, Nigeria, Germany, etc.) It's a little weird because I'm used to coaching younger kids and teens and half of these girls are my age or even older. So far we have just had try outs (everyone made the team) but we start official practice next week. Many of the girls don't have a lot of basketball experience but they seem like a cool bunch and I think we're going to have good fun this year.

Mike and I also had our first training session with a nearby club team. The first hour we worked with under 15 girls. They were giggly and shy in the beginning but I think they warmed up to us. The second hour was under with 16 boys team who we'll also be coaching. They were very quick learners and had a good team chemistry. They have their first game this Tuesday night and we're coaching them. Hopefully we pull out a win!

Speaking of wins… I'm officially 1-0 in the head coach department. This Saturday I was the substitute head coach of the men's college team against Father Mathews. I'd like to think I'm a pretty awesome coach if I don't say so myself. I didn't even have to stand up out my seat or yell the entire game. We only had 5 people and still pulled out a 20+ point win and as a added bonus Mike scored 38 points. I'm not saying I deserve all the credit or anything but I think I played a key role in the win. All jokes aside it was a great experience. I was nervous in the beginning but once everything got rolling it felt really natural. I'm glad it all worked out.

Ever since I started playing basketball I have been accustomed to winning. Two years of middle school with only two losses, breaking records in high school and being on winning teams most of my collegiate career. It wasn’t until my last two years of college that I got a taste of losing and it’s something I don’t ever want to experience again. My first scrimmage as a Mystic we ended up losing by over thirty, and then much of the same result in my first game. I was very disheartened and honestly just plainly disappointed. One of my teammates seen how sad I was and asked what was wrong. I told her I wouldn’t be able to go the whole season like this, but she assured me that things would get better. Someone else also sent me an encouraging message and reminded me that this was a new league for my team and it would take some getting used to. Thankfully they were right. The very next game my team and I played really well together. We finally had our whole team together back from injury and other obligations. Our first home game of the season and we won. My teammate came up to me with a smile and said, “See, I told you things would get better.” Although we ended up losing the next game, I am confident in my team and our abilities, and I very much look forward to the rest of our season.

I thought going to college away from home was going to make coming here for 9 months a piece of cake. Surely I would miss home during Thanksgiving and Christmas, but that’s to be expected, right? Well, I have been here for a little under two months, and I am already starting to miss my family. I talk to and FaceTime them often, but nothing compares to the hugs and kisses from loved ones on a consistent basis. Some of the things that have eased my pain though are the people who I can consider family here. My teammates are awesome and they take really good care of me. A couple of their families have also taken me under their wing. I’ve been invited two or three places for both Thanksgiving and Christmas, and they assure me that there’s always a place for me at their table. Being away from home is harder than I thought it would be, and May seems far away, but knowing that I have people willing to treat me like family in the meantime means more to me than they know.

Being in Ireland has come with a lot of lessons learned both about myself and other people. I would have to say one of the most interesting ones, however is about the art of motivation. I have always been good with words and writing. It seems as though when I sit down I just think of things and am able to articulate the thoughts in my head. When you’re in the public eye the way in which you motivate has to be a little more thoughtful than just sitting down and writing some words though. I can recall a couple of instances where I’ve gotten texts and phone calls from both domestic and abroad questioning some of the things I may have said.

The art of censorship is also a learned experience. When is it appropriate to say something and if it is appropriate how do I say it in a way that my message will be heard effectively? That’s a dilemma I have had my whole life. Being “real” and saying what’s on your mind is always an admired trait until you say something to make someone upset. In that though, I have learned a few valuable lessons about the art of motivation.

1. My faith in God is very strong. Most of the time when I come up with words to say and statuses to post they come out of nowhere, or maybe they appear that way to most people. I could be sitting on my computer doing something completely unrelated and a topic comes to mind. I sit and think about it for a while and then the thoughts and sentences start to form. I put those into a framework that makes sense and then I post it as a status. I believe that the “random” thoughts aren’t so random and they are given to me by God to articulate.
2. Motivation has no framework. The way in which people are motivated is different and wide in range. Some people aren’t motivated until someone yells at them, while for others all you have to do is talk to them and they are doing what you need them to. Some people are also self-motivated and don’t need the encouragement of anyone to get their tasks done. Whatever their form of motivation, there are people and plans to reach everyone. I’ve learned that just because a message I send might not make sense to one person, it might be just what another needed at the time. Every time I’m unsure, someone will text or call and tell me that’s just what they needed to hear. That’s all the confirmation I need.
3. Being politically correct is sometimes not correct at all. I find that more often than not people do not understand when you speak in parables or tell a story to teach a lesson. Some people only understand things when you just come out and tell it like it is. I find myself asking: what’s the point of putting a message out there that nobody gets?

My goal in all of this is to positively impact as many people as I can, and do so in a way that leaves a lasting impression on their lives. You never know who you might be helping, so when something comes to mind, I say it and make sure to package it in a way that people can relate to. Not everyone will understand the message, but it will reach the people it’s meant to, and in the end that’s all that matters anyway.

Today we had a college game and boy was it tough. The last practice we had was Thursday, I had a super league game Saturday, and I spent Sunday recovering. Next thing I know Monday is here and we are playing in a college game. My teammates must have had a similar end of the week and weekend because we all came out less than our best to start the game. We found ourselves down by fourteen at halftime and down by much of the same to start the fourth quarter. At some point we decided we didn’t want to play like that anymore because the next thing I knew, a switch went off and we started playing like we knew how.

I looked at the clock and noticed that we were only down by three with five minutes left. Our shots started falling and our defense picked up tremendously. It was an exciting finish to say the least. We ended up winning by two despite me fouling out and my team having to come from behind, but it was in those closing seconds when I was on the bench that I couldn’t stop smiling. This was the first time that we really fought to come from behind to win a game. Things were always in reach but we could never get there.

Playing in that game taught me a valuable lesson. For one you can never give up. Had we not believed we could still win we wouldn’t have. It also taught me that it’s not how you start but how you finish. The beginning of the game came with a lot of missed shots, bad defensive plays and a good bit of frustration. By the end we were making our shots and making some crucial defensive plays. Much like in life, we often start off situations doing all the wrong things and making the wrong decisions.

I’ve learned that if we continue moving forward and forgetting about the last play, then we can turn the situation around for the better. Use each mistake to propel you forward instead of letting it keep you down in the fourth. It’s not how you start, but how you finish.

Playing basketball, coaching and going to school can all be considered service tasks. In basketball, you give of yourself to you team in whatever capacity they need without thought or hesitation because that’s just the nature of the game. It’s what it’s all about. In coaching you take a part of yourself, your philosophy, your time, your day, your energy and your knowledge and impart that into whoever you’re working with. In school you give of yourself to a subject and then take something in return to enhance that knowledge. With group projects you do the same thing and hopefully end up with a product that was better had you been doing something by yourself. The beautiful thing about giving of yourself is that you’re left with little empty pieces to be filled by the love, appreciation, hardships, and knowledge imparted back into you from working with such a vast group of people.

In being available to people, it’s important to find time for yourself to regroup and make sure that you are presenting the best version of yourself, because that’s what the people working with you deserve. I learned very early on in my life that if I don’t have time to myself then I am no good to anyone. I get cranky and irritable and people won’t want to be around me. I have also learned that sometimes it’s hard to get a moment to yourself, so you have to put those feelings and emotions aside until you can get that time. There have been times where I passed on going out or being in the mix of things because I know I have to take care of myself first and foremost before I can be a blessing to other people. If we don’t take care of ourselves how can we expect to take care of others?

There are so many things to focus on throughout a minute, an hour, a day, a month, or even a year. My mind is used to going a mile a minute thinking about tomorrow’s worries and what might or might not happen. I tend to think so far into the future that sometimes the day goes by and I haven’t even thought about what I’m going to eat for dinner. But I began to think whether or not that was the most efficient way to spend my time, and of course it isn’t. I have such a great opportunity in front of me that if I spend so much time thinking of what I need to be doing once I get back or what’s going to happen next, then I will miss out on all the wonderful things going on at the present moment. I have so much that I can focus on now and be just fine because tomorrow is going to come no matter if I think about it or not. It’s key to live in the day and take on things one second at a time because this time is going by so fast and I won’t be able to get it back. That’s just one of the many lessons I have been able to learn since I’ve been here. Cheers to growing.

In my 24 years of living, I have been blessed enough to live in different countries and states, meet a variety of people, and experience things a lot of people my age haven’t been able to. In that I have been able to go through, and get through many different trying situations. For example, I went from being the best player on my team to having to work the hardest to even keep up. Every experience though, has toughened my skin and allowed me to come out a better person. This experience is no different. Although I am much more equipped to deal with unfamiliar situations, it doesn’t take away from the fact that things get hard sometimes. I have learned however, that in order to grow and learn, you have to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. In other words, you have to be willing to immerse yourself in a situation and embrace all that it entails. In that, it’s not beneficial to focus on leaving or counting down the days until you can go home, but it’s looking at each day as an opportunity to get better.

If someone goes through a test and properly prepares, they will likely come out with a good result. If they, on the other hand, approach the test and just do what they have to do to get by, chances are they will have to prepare harder next time, or they will have to repeat the test. That’s how I look at my time here. If I focus on learning the lessons and passing the tests set before me, I will be able to use that knowledge going forward rather than having to retake the test or cram to get though a situation at a later point in time.

Being comfortable with being uncomfortable doesn’t mean that I accept less than or I walk through life with my head held low. It instead means that I am ok with the learning process and I embrace it rather than run from it. I see every day as an opportunity to learn, and I take what I learn and apply it to my life in such a way that I won’t have to take the same test twice. Being uncomfortable means that I am getting better, and that’s the way I want to live my life- always getting better.

Over the past couple of months I have been juggling up to five group projects at a time. I knew that group work would be a part of this Master’s journey because I received an MBA from La Salle University before I came over, and they were all about group work. What I wasn’t ready for, however, was the abundance of it. My past experience was one of small groups of people who I spent time with every week. The MBA program at La Salle was designed in a way that allowed myself and my 20 or so other classmates to become very close. In the Master’s program at NUIG (National University of Ireland, Galway), however, it’s very different. The three management programs have some classes together, and the group projects from those classes are a mixture of people from my own program (Human Resource Management), and the other two programs (Strategy and International Management).

Once we got our groups, we had to look at the time tables for each of the three programs and decide what times everyone was free, since the other classes we had were with different combinations of management programs. Once we got that settled, we had to figure out when this group wasn’t meeting with one of the other five groups we had to juggle. On top of that people had work, I had basketball and coaching, and other people had children to tend to. To say things were frustrating was an understatement. There were times where I had to go in on a Sunday and work, and there were times where I had to stay up late to meet a deadline.

Aside from all the group work, we also had personal assignments to get done. It felt like there wasn’t enough time in the day sometimes, and that I wouldn’t be able to get my work done. I knew from completing an MBA beforehand that if you just kept going things would get done, but that didn’t stop the frustration from setting in.

We now have two weeks left in the semester and I am on my last couple of group assignments. I also have my personal assignments to get done, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Being in groups with my classmates helped me realize that we are all going through the same things. We all have deadlines to meet while balancing extra-curricular activities, and we all get frustrated with the process. The good thing about it though, is that we all get through it. Together we talk about what’s going on, complain about process, hug each other when things get tough, and then put our heads down and get back to work.

I’ve learned that things get tough, but when you just keep going you get through them. I’m thankful for the hardships group work has brought me, because at the end of it all we were able to say that we did it. It’s helped me because I know that in the future I will be faced with having to juggle many different tasks and projects at one time, and I will know how to balance my time to ensure that each task gets the proper attention to produce a great project. Some projects got better marks than others, but that’s also a learning experience that I’m glad to have been a part of.

I come from a wonderful family. My parents have been together since before I and my siblings were born, and I have a brother and two sisters who all love me more than anyone could imagine. We are all very close and talk on a regular basis through group chats, FaceTime and social media. I’m also from a very supportive community where everyone was and still is rooting for me and they genuinely want to see me do well. Going from that to college was a very tough transition for me. I found myself in a world where people cared more about what you could do for them rather than what they could do to help make you a better person. They put more thought and energy into the people who played the best rather than distributing their energy evenly among everyone. I understand that college basketball in America is a business, but being a kid from the kind of family and community I was from made that transition tough for me.

Fast forward five years to my least year of college. I had an undergraduate degree and an MBA in Finance, but that isn’t where my passion was. I spent the past five years of my life going through something just so I could have a good life for myself, and I wasn’t going to go through the same thing when I got into the real world. It just wasn’t worth it to me no matter how much money I was going to make.

Time was winding down and I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life. My athletic director at the time mentioned the Victory Scholar Program and said that he felt like I should apply. It was a great choice for me because it allowed me to get another great education, work with children, and experience another country. I knew that it would also be good for me because it would allow me to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be outside of the parameters my family set for me. I knew who I was within that niche, but outside of that what kind of individual was I? Who did I want to be and what did I want to do? I wanted to make a living that I actually enjoyed rather than just living to go to work every day.

College didn’t really help me figure it out because everything was done for me. People told me where to go and what to do. They told me how to think and my days were planned out for me. Everything I did was because someone else told me to do it. I needed to venture out from that and just figure out who Ebony is. Being in Ireland has helped me with that a lot. I still have a lot to learn, but I have figured out that I am a strong, independent woman. I stand up for what I believe in and I say how I feel unapologetically. I know that whatever role I end up in will be one where I help people and do all I can to change their lives for the better. I’m excited to see what else I am able to learn about myself.

A couple of weekends ago the Galway Master’s was in town. Now where I’m from the Master’s is a big golf tournament, but I soon found out this was not the same thing at all. It was a weekend we were off from basketball, so we were set to work a few games Saturday and Sunday. Friday there was a camp to be on that was ran by Tim Rice, who is a basketball guru. He worked with various levels of college basketball for a number of years and now he is a sports psychologist who goes around blessing teams and coaches with his knowledge one day at a time. Myself, my teammates, and Charles Smith (former NBA star) all worked together to impart knowledge to a large group of young people.

Saturday rolled around and it was the first round of games. I have never seen so many people over the age of 40 (for men) and 35 (for women), come in and compete like they did. There were a good bit of teams involved, and they all gave me hope for the future. To say it was entertaining to watch was an understatement. All the same mannerisms, communication styles, and coaching styles I see at the level in which I play were present in watching them. I also got to watch Charles Smith as well as my own coach Mike Murray in action.

Saturday night we went to a 70s themed party with a lot of the teams who were participating in the tournament. The food was good and then the dance floor came alive. We did something called rock the boat where everyone sat in rows on the floor and rocked back and forth to a song. It was different to say the least but it ended up being a lot of fun. The costumes people had on were also fun to see.

Sunday was much of the same as Saturday. The teams were now playing for the championship and it was still just as competitive, if not more, than the day before. The games got a little more interesting and chippy, and I loved every second. By the time it was all said and done I was tired, but people were thankful for our help and that made it all worth it.

Myself and my teammate Brittany said that in 11 or 12 years when we are 35, we will definitely be getting a team together to come and compete. Scary to think we are so close to being there. As it turns out though, tournaments like this exist a lot of places and it’s very popular throughout Europe. I hope to be in as good of shape as the people I had the pleasure of watching when I get their age.

When people back home found out I would be coming to Ireland they were ecstatic. When they found out I was coming to Galway there were even more thrilled. Everyone kept telling me how beautiful of a place it was and how much I would enjoy the scenery. They convinced me that I really was in the best place Ireland had to offer. I wanted to make it my mission to do as much traveling and getting around as I could since inner country and European travel was relatively inexpensive. The first weekend we had off from games I took advantage of just that.

My teammates Hannah and Brittany, as well as two other scholars, Brittney and DaLacy, all went up to explore the beautiful Cliffs of Moher as well as the Aillwee Caves. The experience was breathtaking. I don’t usually do outdoor activities like walking along caves, or even in them for that matter, but this whole experience is about trying new things and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. As I mentioned in my last blog, getting comfortable with being uncomfortable simply means that I am ok with growing and stretching myself to be better.

The first stop in our trip was the Aillwee Caves. We took a thirty minute tour through them where we learned about their history and the man who discovered them. We walked by waterfalls and natural formations that took more than hundreds of years to form. There were a couple times where we had to slouch down to make it under part of the pathway, and we even got to experience the cave in its natural light- which is really pitch black. The experience was new, exciting, and something I wouldn’t usually do, but I’m glad I did.

The second stop in our trip was the Cliffs of Moher. Being there was breathtaking. There were beautiful formations that were naturally made. The waves hitting the bottom on the cliffs were beautiful, and I even sadly learned that a lot of people go there to commit suicide. I wasn’t brave enough to go and sit at the edge of the cliffs, but I did get close enough to where I could take a picture and look down, which is also something I would never have done before. Being there just made me appreciate life and nature that much more.

Once we left there we ended up going to get food at a small, family owned, seafood place. It was nice to sit and talk to people who experience the same things as me on a daily basis, and in some cases more. It helps me realize that we are all on the same ship, even if we are on different levels at times. Nature has a way of making you reflect and appreciate life no matter how scary it may seem at first.

During her winter break, my sister embarked on a Euro-Trip accompanied by her friend.  And while my busy schedule prevented me from joining them on any of their adventures in different countries, they made Cork the final stop of their trip.  Having my sister visit me while living in a different country is something incredible that neither of us ever would have predicted.  Since we were kids, she was always the smart one who we all knew would be the most successful in the family, and I always imagined I’d be visiting her in a different country while she was conquering the world.  The fact that she was able to visit me makes me even more grateful for this opportunity.  It’s a great feeling being able to share my experience with her, and give her some insight into everything Ireland has taught me over my time here.  Even though she was only here for six days, I was able to show her all around the great City of Cork and she was able to see how I live on a day to day basis.  She got to meet some of my teammates and also got to experience what a true Irish pub is like.  I’m not sure she actually understood what they were saying half the time, but the big smile on her face expressed how much fun she was having to trying to figure it out.  We even got a chance to kiss the Blarney Stone and explore the incredible grounds that the Castle is surrounded by.  On the last day of her visit, we made the trip to see the Cliffs of Moher.  Even though it took a total of eight travel hours for only a 45-minute visit, it was without a doubt worth it.  The sheer power and force that the crashing waves create against the steep and daunting cliffs is truly a breathtaking experience.  When her visit was over, it was a difficult goodbye, but I’m so glad she got to visit and see what life in Ireland is like.  Can’t wait to see you in the summer Log!

Now that the second week of the second semester is underway, life is back to normal in Galway. School is in full swing, practices are on for both the college & club teams, and I’ve even gotten back into the routine of making my daily stop at Renzo’s café for tea and biscuits. As a side note for the café spot, my appearances there in the first semester became so frequent that when I went to the counter the waiters actually began asking “the usual?” At that point, I knew I was in too deep to stop going. Between that, and my other responsibilities, I can already tell this semester will be a busy one.

 

Before I dive head first into the second semester however, I think it’s important to take a step back and appreciate how far the Sport Changes Life program has taken me thus far. It’s been five months since we landed here in late August and to say time has flown would be an understatement. It’s easy to let one week roll into the next with all of the practices, schoolwork, and coaching on the schedule, but I hope to appreciate each day even more in my remaining four months. It won’t be long before I head home in late May and I want to make it a priority to soak up all of the opportunities this program affords. Whether it’s spending time with fellow scholars, socializing with classmates, or simply taking care of my responsibilities, I plan to do so with the mindset that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and to enjoy every single day. I can’t wait to see what the second part of the experience has in store.

Relationships lie at the center of our human experience. When we engage in relationship with others we allow our vulnerable selves to be seen and we take on the weight of the selves of others. Although we all desire relationship, I think many of us also fear it. We wonder if someone else is really worth letting our full selves be seen, we wonder if we want the responsibility or maybe the burden of sharing the pain of someone we chose to be in relationship with. We recognize that real relationship takes risk and sometimes that risk seems a little too large. It is a fair evaluation, after all, the more relationships we have the more difficult it is to fully invest in any one of them, and similarly, the fewer relationships we have the more invested we can be. Obviously there are a range of relational experiences – from teammates to classmates to romantic relationships, to familial relationships to friends from camp or that you met at the beach one day, to work relationships, and the list goes on. Not every relationship is going to be deep and raw but some will be, and we all play different roles in different peoples’ lives. So the diversity of relationship is to be appreciated and creates a plethora of prototypes for how to engage with other humans. 

As a Master’s student in Sport and Exercise Psychology I have found that what fascinates me the most is the impact of relationships on  individual experiences within sport. In one of my classes, we were asked to create a mock case study and to propose an intervention as if we ourselves were the sport psychologist. The character I created was a Division-1 basketball coach at a major conference school that was in the last year of her contract and had a team that had not performed well under her leadership. In the process, the coach struggled to remain within herself as she felt isolated and unsupported and often lashed out at her staff and her players. Although the coach understood effective communication, the stressors in her situation led her to lash out against her better judgment. The case study is an exploration of problem and emotion focused coping strategies, social support, and development of emotional intelligence in order help the coach work on creating avenues to diffuse her stress and to feel supported within her role while also displaying appropriate and productive emotions that empowered her players to feel supported and stable as well. As I worked through the options for an intervention in this situation I was able to be both creative and to draw from other similar experiences and studies that supported effective practice; however, what I found at the root of all of the interventions was the need for relationship within this coach’s life. As she had isolated herself from her staff, she took on a much bigger load than she needed to and added stress that was unnecessary. Whenever she lashed out at a player she damaged the feelings of trust and support between her and that player that were necessary for a mutual trust and cooperation towards a common goal. The intervention centered around bettering not only relationships within sport but also by working to create a healthy environment outside of sport so that she could develop a self concept and love of self that was connected to more than just her ability to produce as a coach.

I am writing right now about a hypothetical case you all know nothing about but I guess my point here is that relationship is key to success or experience in any and every realm of life. When an issue is presented or you are struggling with something ask yourself if maybe its a result of a relational issue that needs mending. Ultimately I do not believe success alone can bring us happiness, but I think experience together brings both joy and the necessary support that we all need in order to get through and thrive in this thing called life. One person cannot carry their own burdens alone but together we can all shoulder the weight of each other’s burdens and in the process we can also experience collective joy. 

As we approached the gates of Whiteabbey Primary School a group of kids on the playground came up to us. They starting dabbing, laughing, and exclaiming that the basketball coach was back. They inquired if we were taking a basketball session again today. It was my first time coaching here but Ryan had been a few times. Behind the fence the kids followed us all the way up to the main entrance, chatting to Ryan about how excited they were to play basketball again and to have him back. I had never met these kids so, naturally, none of their attention was on me, so as Ryan engaged with the kids I was able to watch. It was such a beautiful thing to witness the joy that it brought the kids to see that Ryan was back. Sometimes when you coach kids it can be hard to recognize the impact you are having in their lives but to witness the love they had for Ryan and to see the joy on their faces when they saw him arriving was such a testament to the work we get to do. And while we set out to be a blessing in their lives, sometimes the real blessing is the one they have in ours.

Christmas for me is a time that I get to unwind and reconnect with my family over food and good company at home. Well, this Christmas was slightly different. This Christmas I didn’t get to unwind and reconnect with my family, instead, I was travelling with some of my fellow Victory Scholars. This Christmas Break I was going to travel to Rome, Florence, Pisa, Barcelona, and Edinburgh. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. The only thing that gave me a little comfort was that I was going to be with my friends and we were going to experience this new adventure together.

This adventure began with myself and a backpack, courtesy of Nike. That was the first challenge; being able to get fifteen days worth of clothes and other accessories necessary for travel. I was able to do this with only bringing the basics that I could re wear. (I know sounds gross right haha). I did know that one of the hostels we were staying at had a washing and drying machine so that would be the perfect time to wash all my things just in time for my last leg of the trip.

The next part of this adventure was the language barrier. I don’t know why this didn’t cross my mind at all but I didn’t think the language barrier in Italy was going to effect my travel at all. Well, it did greatly in the beginning, since I was travelling to Rome alone since Jess and Megan were already there. I didn’t realize that Italian was not close to Spanish at all (I know enough Spanish to get me around) and I was losing it. I thought it would be fine since I had my phone and I could map out where to go. See that only works if the bus travels the correct route. The bus decided to throw me a curve ball and go off the beaten path. That is where I started to struggle and when I spoke to my first local. Fortunately I was able to get some help and got off the right spot. After that the mishaps were at a minimum throughout the whole trip.

Rome- In Rome we were able to do many things like go to the Colosseum, see the Vatican, the Trevi Fountain and have a Lizzie Maguire moment, eat a lot of gelato, have the best Canoli’s, and enjoy the Italy’s finest pasta and pizza.

Florence- Florence was a place we were all excited to see since some of our classmates travelled there for study abroad so we had a little of things we wanted to check off our lists. In Florence we ate the best gelato again, bargained at the leather market, see the famous David, eat the best Panini on the planet, get free sparkling water from the fountains, take pictures from the best view ever- Michaelangelo Piazzo, and see the most beautiful churches.

Pisa- Leaning Tower of course.

Barcelona- Here in Barcelona it was only Jess and I. We spent Christmas here and I am really glad we decided to stay at a hostel. This hostel was by far my favorite since it felt like a home. There was a communal kitchen and living room area which was always playing music or playing movies. In Barcelona we took the subway everywhere since Barcelona is so big. We were able to experience the most delicious tapas, sweets, fresh squeezed juices, see the popular Gaudi Cathedral, experience the whole Park Guell, take in the Barcelona sun and go for bike rides on the beach with new friends, and take in the whole Christmas spirit by going to midnight Christmas mass at a Catalan church.

Edinburgh- I was especially excited for Edinburgh because I was going to be able to spend some time alone and see some things on my own. But, I was also excited to spend some time with my aunt from California that decided to spend New years with me. We did the Hogmanay festival so our days were packed with events. While in Edinburgh I ate a lot of good food both Scottish and Indian. I was able to see the Edinburgh castle, go to a haunted dungeon tour, also do a historical underground vault tour, experience the scotch whiskey tour, see the Holyrood Palace, see more churches, and just see the beauty all around me that Edinburgh had to offer.

Travelling for fifteen days across Europe and Spain is something that I wont forget and will always cherish. I walked away learning more about myself, developing stronger relationships with Jess and Megan, and ultimately realizing that I am stronger than I think, mentally, and physically. On to more adventures!

They say home is wherever the people who love you are when you are together. Home is an interesting concept. It signifies a place but it is often more marked by who occupies that place than what the place actually is. Today if I am hanging out in Belfast city and I am about to catch the train back to Jordanstown, I would likely tell those I am with that I am about to head “home”. Five years ago, when my brother Ziah studied in Granada he likely referred to returning back to his Colegio at any given time as going “home” as well. But when someone asked me what I was doing over break and if I was going home my answer was invariably no. Yet for some reason being with my family felt like being home. So this flexible definition of home allowed me to both experience home while being about as far from home as I had ever been. 

I had the great fortune of spending two weeks for Christmas with my family in Granada, Spain and Lisbon, Portugal. We began our trip in Granada, a town whose significance rose from the fact it played home to my brother for half a year when he was in college. As English speaking travelers we were very thankful to have my brother, Ziah, a fluent Spanish speaker to guide us through our time in Spain. I loved Granada. I loved Granada for the Tapas tradition – which meant purchasing 2 or 3 euro drinks which came with complementary Tapas, which are small plates of delicious food. So on any give evening you could purchase 3 drinks and have 3 small meals all for 9 euro. Talk about cheap! I loved Granada for the Alhambra, a magnificent palace and fortress that was created by the Moors during their reign in Andalusia in the 13th century. The Alhambra alone is reason to visit Granada and remains as a historical artifact of Muslim influence on Spain. I loved Granada for the pedestrian streets where cars sometimes drove but foot traffic had the right of way. I loved Granada because I was able to watch as memories returned to the face of my brother and with them came joy as if the experiences triggered by place and space memory were being had all over again.

But what I loved most about Granada was the experience of being with my family – all five of us, talking and walking, playing card games in our Airbnb, taking in the sites, learning the history, eating the food, drinking the wine – together. For my Brother returning to Granada had the feel of returning to an old home and for us as a family now if any one returns we will be triggered of memories and experiences as if we too were returning to some sort of a home. 

The only cruel thing about DCU is that they hold their final exams AFTER Christmas break. So mean!!! That being said, I’ve pretty much been locked in my room studying for most of this month but as of now am halfway done! Basketball and coaching have been keeping me fairly sane, so I’m so glad I have that 🙂 Unfortunately, my Superleague team lost in the National Cup semi-finals (don’t ask) down in Cork so now we are focusing on grabbing the league title towards the end of the season. The good news, however, is that our DCU Mercy under 18s and under 20s teams are advancing to the Cup finals in a few weeks! Yay!!!!! The under 20s is one of the teams I coach so I’m feeling like a proud mama. We also got to see many of our other Victory Scholars that weekend, so it’s always a joy to see them.  

But while in Cork, Jasmine and I got to explore the Blarney Stone which was so awesome! I had been there four years ago when my college team took a tour of Ireland, but we didn’t even cover a quarter of what the whole park has in store! Beautiful walking paths, trails in the woods, waterfalls, caves, and of course the Blarney Castle were all included in the trip. I just have one question… is it bad luck to kiss the Blarney Stone twice? Maybe the answer lies in my final exam results…     

Hi, everyone! I just wanted to give everyone a quick update. I have been back in Letterkenny, from my twelve-day trip home, for a week and a half now. I definitely had some serious jet lag for a couple days, but now I feel settled back into the routine, somewhat. It doesn’t help having these NFL Playoff games starting at 1 a.m.…

Since being back, I have done a couple coaching sessions. I returned to our 18U team pleasantly surprised. In the first two practices since the break, Jack and I told the players we were going to begin expecting more from them for two reasons. First, we’ve been coaching them for almost 5 months now and secondly, they are ready for it. Therefore, we began being more detailed with our approach and having higher expectations for all the different aspects of the game. Without going further into detail they handled it very well. I can begin to see they are seeing and thinking through the game in a much different way. I like to think it is great coaching, but not quite sure yet haha!!

To shift to a different topic, I currently have about three weeks off from school. I was fortunate to only have one final exam. The way Ireland does their final exams is quite foreign to me. Back in the States, students would take finals in the beginning of December, then be off for an entire month, then start the second semester in mid-January. However, here in Ireland, it seems like most schools have class up till Christmas, then have two weeks off for the holidays, then two weeks of finals, then a week off, then the second term starts at end of January. More simply, U.S. finals are before winter break, whereas their final exams are right in the middle of winter break. Since I only had one final, which I think I crushed, I have had a lot of free time.

With all this free time, I have been trying to fill my time with reading, going into town, and exercising.

I just finished up the book, What They Don’t Teach You At Harvard Business School by Mark McCormack. It’s a great read, very engaging. I strongly recommend it for anyone entering or currently in the business world. I’m definitely taking recommendations for my next read if anyone has any?

Next, I have been trying to go up to the main street to enjoy Letterkenny a little more while I have the free time. I think every day last week I walked up the hill to where all the shops and stores are; it’s a solid 15-minute walk. Once there, I always try and find a great spot to get a cup of tea and some food. With that said, I think I have been to nearly every place up there haha! Usually, I read or watch TV on my iPad for a good hour then walk back. It's definitely a good way for me to get out of the house.

Lastly, Jack and I had a blast of a day last Friday. We wanted to get out and do something early because we had a game in Galway the next day. So we decided to do a two-mile run to the Aura Gym/Community Center. We got to the gym, stretched out for a little, and then hopped into the steam room and hot tub for an hour. Then, we went to see the movie Live By Night at the cinema; just a fantastic day! I was thinking jeez half my friends are working 9-5’s right now and I’m sitting in a hot tub haha! Rough day! Don’t be mistaken this is not nearly a daily routine out here, more like a once in a while de-stress day. I viewed it as a little reward for finishing finals week. I find that it's often good to reward yourself a little bit. So take a day to take care of your body and mind and just relax! You'll feel much better haha

Quick shout out to the Aura Gym in Letterkenny! They gave Jack and I a free membership for the entire year as a form of gratitude for the hard work we have put in with training the local youth. I can't thank them enough!

I am officially back in the land of Ire!! I wanted to wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I have very good feelings about 2017, and I hope that all of you reading you will keep up with my adventures. I fortunately got to start my new year off on the right foot by having two of my best friends from college (Lia and Cait) come to visit me. It was so cool to finally get to show someone from home the amazing place that Cork is, and for them to experience my day-to-day life. I had plans to show them as much as I possibly could; because I wanted to give them what I thought was the “Irish Experience.” Fortunately for me I have amazing people as friends, and they told me that they just wanted to spend time with me.

I am relieved that my friends are so easy to please because I tried to be the best tour guide I could be, however as I think most people can relate when they are with their friends, time seems to disappear. One day we sat down to have a coffee in Starbucks for just a “little while” before wandering around the city. Well 3 and-a-half hours later, we found ourselves still talking and laughing in the Starbucks. I would start to take them around the city and we would become so enthralled in conversation that we would spend hours at one spot.

They pointed things out about Cork that I had never realized before, and they brought me up-to-date with everything that was going on back home. Even though we have been seperated for months, it feels like I just left them yesterday. 

If you were concerned I did take them to more than just Starbucks. We went on an adventure to Blarney, where the three of us successfully kissed the Blarney Stone. So for all the boys reading this blog, the three of us have just become more elegant and filled with charm. I channelled my inner-Elizabeth Bennet and we walked all around the park and came apon what looked like Mr. Darcy’s home. The three of us laughed our way through, and as we were leaving their were three older women laughing together, walking by us. And at that moment I told them that was gonna be us when we did our reunion trips in years to come:)

I also took them to Kinsale, a lovely town on the water. Not knowing however that most of Kinsale is closed during the winter months. However, we did not let that get us down. We order Ciders and laughed our way through the night. We spent four hours in  a restaurant called the “White House” and planned out all of the future trips we will take together!

I have come to realize that the people you meet through out your journey of life are the ones that make it special. They shape you and make you feel. My friends bring out the best in me, and I am so grateful that when I look back on this chapter of my life, I can say that they were a part of it.

Thank you, you know who you are

 

 

So, welcome back! Last time you read about eGOLF, I was just getting ready for my first session ever with it. Well, now we are going into the second week of it, and let me say that it went great. It is so much fun coaching these P6 kids! They were so ambitious to learn about golf and what Ray and I had to say. I will say, that next week we need to control those kids a bit more. They were out of control. But regardless of that, they were still so eager to learn. They had so much fun playing with the Snag equipment. We taught them how to putt this week and they went crazy with it. I never thought kids could have so much putting in a little gym! But nevertheless, it was all in great fun and next week should be amazing!

It’s been a little while since my last blog and a lot has happened in the month and a half since Thanksgiving. I completed my first semester at NUIG and finished the first half of the basketball season for both the Titans, my national league team, and the college team. We were given two weeks off for Christmas and instead of going home, I decided to travel around Europe with a buddy of mine from home. We went from Dublin to Berlin, Prague, Amsterdam, and Iceland. It was a whirlwind of a two weeks as we checked out history museums, went on city tours, and experienced the culture in each place. I never thought I’d get the chance to see so many places this soon after college, which made the trip even more surreal.

 

Each city/country we went to had its own best feature. For instance, the history in Berlin was amazing to see through the tours and monuments. Everything from the Berlin Wall Memorial to the Reichstag Building taught us about Germany’s history and the political struggles there. We also had the chance to tour a concentration camp just outside of Berlin. It’s difficult to describe the eeriness you feel when stepping inside of the gates and it was shocking to see in-person. When we weren’t learning about Germany’s history, we experienced the nightlife and tried a few authentic German steins. I’d have to say Berlin was my favorite stop out of the four.

Our second stop, Prague, was full of culture and sights. The layout of Prague looks like something out of Disney World since it is full of beautifully designed buildings with a 1200-year-old castle overlooking the entire city. We toured the castle and experienced New Year’s Eve there as well, which was spent at a pub crawl with about 100 American soldiers on base in Italy that came to Prague for the night. It was an awesome city to visit with a lot of buzz.

 

After Prague, we went to Amsterdam for two days. We got the chance to tour the Heineken brewery as well as the Anne Frank house. We stayed right in the city, which was convenient for walking everywhere. I will say however that Amsterdam is not the place where you want to walk down the wrong street at night, as evident by the large billboard in the center of the city displaying “watch out for street dealers, they are not your friends”. But besides that it was great. For our last stop, Iceland, we had an excursion booked for each day. They were all a ton of fun, as we planned to relax in the blue lagoon, see Iceland’s countryside with geysers and waterfalls, and climb a glacier with an axe pick. The only small problem was that I caught a bad stomach virus, which caused me to miss the glacier climb. Even with getting sick, it was still an incredible experience.

 

While it was great to travel, it was different not being home for the Christmas season this year. What I missed at home I made up for with experiences around the world. It was a trip that I’ll remember for a lifetime.